Du yuoo feel leeke-a vundereeng eruoond in zee derk? Du yuoo vunt tu leestee tu zee indless screems ooff threll es zeey try und keell yuoo? Du yuoo vunt tu heer me-a loogh hystereecelly oofer dyeeng? Iff su, zeen I hefe-a a treet fur yuoo! Bork Bork Bork!

Tumurroo, Freedey, Merch 26, I veesh tu teke-a yuoo jeefe-a toorkeys thruoogh tu poot zee beet doon oon Cruta. Foon fur zee vhule-a femeely! Jueen tudey! Bork Bork Bork!

Nu cheeldree under 12 ellooed veethuoot a perentel cunsent furm feelled oooot. Pleese-a keep erms inseede-a ooff Cruta's Ind. Yuoo mey meex Cruta's Ind und elcuhul. Cruta's Ind is nut fur vumee noorseeng, vhu ere-a pregnunt, vhu plun oon becumeeng pregnunt, mee noorseeng, vhu ere-a pregnunt, vhu plun oon becumeeng pregnunt, Juhn Stemus, Lufecreffteeun hurrurs, yuoor mum, my mum, unybudy's mum, cunneebels, oor Skeellrex. Iff oocooler bleedeeng ooccoors, pleese-a cunsoolt yuoor physeeciun. Pusseeble-a seede-a iffffects ere-a nut a guud seegn. Sereeuoosly, vhet keend ooff seede-a iffffects ere-a yuoo ixpecteeng here-a? Bork Bork Bork!

(I think there's something wrong with my brain.)